Why it's great to be a guy

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $2000, Tux rental $100.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.