College Course Assignment

Where would you rather be?

In prison: you spend your time in an 8x10 cell.

At work: you spend your time in an even smaller cubicle.

In prison: you get 3 meals a day.

At work: you get a break for 1 meal and have to pay for it. 

In prison: you get time off for good behavior.

At work: you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison: there are wardens who are often sadistic and psycotic.

At work: we call them owners, bosses, managers, etc.

In prison: you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.

At work: there are many programs you can never get out of.

In prison: all costs are paid by taxpayers, with no effort on your part required.

At work: you get to pay all expenses to get to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners..

In prison: you spend most of your time looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.

At work: you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.

The Office

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to 

change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow. 

Just a thought!

if we can put 1 man on the moon how come we cant put them all there?

Why it's great to be a guy

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $2000, Tux rental $100.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

Marriage

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her!